On being a Nine

It's about 6:30pm and it's DARK. I kind of like the dark. I suppose I could turn on the light, but I kind of like how well my computer screen stands out. It's easier for me to focus on it. I wonder if it has any affect on one's eyes though.

Today, we spent all day learning about the Enneagram. For anyone who has wondered why I haven't written in my blog as much as time has gone on, my personality type could help explain that. I am type 9. I am usually not one for personality tests. I was a developmental psychology minor, and one of the things I learned is that no one fits into any category. I am simply Kara. Yet, I always like to approach new things with as open of a mind as possible.

The enneagram is a unique personality test, because instead of focusing on behaviors (like most), it focuses on motives. As a nine, I might do the same actions as someone who is type 2, but for a very different reason.

The nine is a Peacemaker. I am alway attuned to the thoughts and feelings of those around me. I love to help people....but my motivation for that is to establish peace in the atmosphere...it's to make others feel as comfortable and nurtured as possible. Since I am so connected with the thoughts of others, I have a difficult time paying attention to my own thoughts and feelings. I avoid forming my own opinions because it might create conflict, and I like peace. It is often hard for others to know what I really think because I can play the devil's advocate so well that people actually think that it is my opinion. It is really easy for me to empathize with others, even people who do and say things I would never say or do. For instance, I was feeling sorry for a woman who murdered people on the show "The Mentalist" last Thursday. I could see why she felt it was okay to murder those people. Of course, it bothered me that she did that. Nothing can justify murdering people. Yet that did not get rid of my empathy for her. Of course I had to remember that she was just a character on a TV show.

The part that makes my fewer blog posts make more sense is that I like to dabble in things. When I make a to-do list, I prioritize, like most people. However, I do the least important, easier tasks first. That gives me the confidence to do the bigger tasks. For instance, tonight I have to work on a project for a class with Marie. That is a more important task. I also knew I wanted to write in this blog. That is a much easier task and (sorry faithful readers) not as important. Thus I'm doing this first. Sometimes, ok, a lot of times, I get distracted by other things I need to do. Like I am about to do my homework, but I think I'll focus better if I have coffee. So I walk down the hall to get coffee and I run into someone. I end up having a really good conversation with that person, and it reminds me to email someone. While I am emailing that person, I read a really interesting headline in my gmail. I click on the headline and read the article, which makes me want to learn more about the topic. I read other articles relating to the first one. Then I remember that I need to do homework. So I go get some coffee, and on my way down I pass the chapel, and remember that I need to pray. Of course, I am about to work on the project because Marie is not a 9, and as a 9 I am conscious of the fact that she probably doesn't want to wait to the last minute.

Some people, maybe 8s and hmm...some 1s, might not want to commit a day to learning about personality types. But there is a lot more to it than that. More than anything else, I learned that it is ok to be me, and that I'm not alone in my nine-ness. :)I can work hard to improve myself, but it's ok that I am who I am. We want to be someone better than we are, but God loves us how we are in this moment. I spent today laughing at myself and understanding myself, which is something that I can neglect to do, because as a nine, I usually focus on understanding others.

Ok...I'll do the project...